“The buttons of my coat were tangled in my hair. In doctor’s office lighting, I didn’t tell you I was scared. That was the first time we were there. Holy orange bottles, each night, I pray to you. Desperate people find faith, so now I pray to Jesus too.”
When Taylor Swift penned these lyrics in “You’ll Get Better Soon” from her seventh studio album, Lover (2019),” she captured a reality that so many of us know all too well (sorry couldn’t help myself).
Caregiving is a universal experience that transcends boundaries, social statuses, and professional titles—even the world’s biggest celebrities are not immune.
While prepping for her concert by diving back into her past albums, I rediscovered this heartbreaking reflection on Taylor’s journey through her mom’s cancer diagnosis.
It felt so personal and resonated with my own caregiving experiences. The line in the song that hit me most deeply is: “And I hate to make this all about me, but who am I supposed to talk to?” this resonated profoundly, echoing the conflicting emotions and unspoken needs that often accompany caregiving. Feelings of guilt surfaced as I dealt with my own struggles while supporting a loved one through the end of their life. The isolation and overwhelming burden of emotions I felt during my caregiving journey mirrored
those threads in Taylor’s heartfelt lyrics.
As caregivers, we naturally focus our energy on the patient; it’s what love compels us to do – but who is there for the caregiver?
“You’ll get better soon… ’cause you have to,” repeats as a refrain throughout the song. This line epitomizes the hope that sustains caregivers through the darkest times. It’s an incantation, a mantra that many caregivers use to keep their spirits up when faced with uncertainty.
The unwavering belief in recovery and better days is a common thread that binds caregivers together, even when reality doesn’t always align with heir hopes.
The act of repeating “you’ll get better” isn’t just a comforting gesture for the patient; it’s a mechanism for the caregiver to channel debilitating anxiety and transform it into something positive.
Thankfully in Taylor’s case, her mom really did get better and has been accompanying her on her now famous Era’s Tour.
For some of us this mantra did not come true and we were left to pick up the pieces, grief stricken and conflicted. Although Caregiving is a universal experience, it can feel like no one understands while you are in the trenches. This heartfelt look into Taylor Swift’s journey underscores the shared experiences and feelings that all caregivers face.
Thank you for reading my thoughts on two of my favourite topics, Taylor Swift, and supporting family Caregivers! If you are a caregiver struggling, check out our FREE app!
P.S. The Era’s tour was amazing! I cried when she sang “Marjorie”, a tribute to her late Grandmother.
-Paisley Churchill
